Oxymoronism

I'm a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium.
A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school; and my inner child is outward-bound.
I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer; voice-activated and bio-degradable.
I interface with my database; my database is in cyberspace; so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet, pushin' the envelope.
I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs.
I've got no need for coke and speed; I've got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.
A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom-feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.
A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic; out of rehab and in denial.
I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up; you can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers.
I'm a non-believer, I'm an over-achiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance.
I'm super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last.
A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail.
But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary-care giver.
My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.
I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.
I like rough sex; I like tough love. I use the F-word in my e-mail. And the software on my hard drive is hard-core—no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall. I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle.
I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped and vacuum-packed.
And . . . I have unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock; rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow; I ride with the tide, I've got glide in my stride.
Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin'; jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'.
I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty, and lunchtime is crunch time.
I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt; and I'm hangin' tough.
Over and out.

George Carlin, 2005

Anguish

Josephina

Vito

A third man

A moving train. Closed compartment. Josefina is seating in it, opposite her, a man is sleeping. Some suitcases are laying around. Josefina is looking out the window. Vito soundlessly opens the compartment door and enters. He seats on the side of Josefina.

Josefina: Why wouldn’t you just let my eyes dry away?

Vito: What is the use of that, when you are far away?

Josefina: Even monsters know limits.

Vito: Yes, we do.

(Pause)

Vito: You tried to leave me again.

Josefina: In vain.

Vito: In vain. In vain is all you do to resist what you are, all what we are.

Josefina: We are a metaphor! A flower without a bloom, a sky with no sun. How can you even think that “we” makes sense anymore?

Vito: It makes sense to still fight for you.

Josefina: Who is there more to fight? Didn’t you fight enough? Didn’t you kill enough?

(Pause)

Vito: I did what I had to do.

Josefina: What did you have to do?

Vito: Have you. (Pause) It was absurd to own you, I knew. I knew everything. Everything and nothing mattered. People cannot explain pain to you. You have to live it to understand. I killed. It was so easy to relieve my pain to the ones that caused it. I have no regrets. If I have to do it again, I would. You know it, it was never the power, it was never our differences. It was only pure, joyous pleasure. What you felt for me, what I felt for you. What I did for you. I did everything, anything, just for you. So we can be together. So I can hold you and love you till the end of days. And when you rest, I would stroke your hair and say you are mine. And no one would take you from me. No one would be on our way ever again.

Josefina: You knew my bed was always warm for you.

Vito: I wanted you just for me.

Josefina: You chose the wrong way.

Vito: Stay.

Josefina: Do you smell the olive trees?

Vito: Yes. For the last time.

Josefina sticks a knife just below the Vito’s chest

Josefina: (in his ear) I love you.

Vito falls on the seat, dead. The third man comes up from his sleep and calmly sees the scene, looking as he had heard the whole dialog

Third man: You did the right thing. You are gonna be safe now.

Hugs her. In the next second, a knife goes through her chest as well. She falls on the seat as well. The third man wipes the handle of the knife and puts it into Vito’s palm. He takes his suitcase and leaves the compartment. The train slows down and stops, the man gets out.